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Allahu Akbar, roughly translated as “God is Great” is one of the most celebrated expressions in world religion.  Any reasonable exploration of Islamic faith and culture will reveal the intense weight and significance given to those words.  And fuck those fanatical, crackpot Jihadists who have ruined the words by shouting them just before blowing themselves … Read more

Deception occurs throughout nature.  For example, there’s the insect that evolved to look like a twig to avoid predators or the orchid that evolved to look like a particular bumblebee so as to get pollinated.  Not surprisingly, when our earliest ancestors developed spoken language, we started telling lies.  You can just imagine some caveman named … Read more

Sucking and sucking and sucking, the vampire squid of investment banking has its tentacles wrapped around the face of humanity, its scaly, slimy wealth extraction proboscis crammed forcefully down the throats of 95 percent of the Earth’s population – guaranteeing that every remotely available bit of wealth is siphoned up into the investment portfolios of … Read more

Day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, decade by fucking decade I have done and I shall continue to do my twice daily meditation practice.  The never-ending, disjointed river of the stupidest, pissy-assed thoughts crash upon the metamorphic rock of the field of infinite silence lying at the root of … Read more

I explain in my monologue entitled The Three Caveman Archetypes of Male Sexuality that millions of years of natural selection have burdened men with a single minded determination to insert their genetic material (in other words, their penises) into as many women as possible.  Interestingly, population geneticists have recently identified the man who appears to … Read more

I was eating a piece of fruit the other day.  There was a little sticker on it.  The sticker was made out of clear cut trees made into chlorine bleached paper printed with petrochemical inks and stuck on the fruit with a petrochemical adhesive.  The sticker was there to say, “This piece of fruit is … Read more

Hearing of your rape was the low point of much of my year 2016 – though it was ultimately eclipsed by a President Trump in November, but it resoundingly sucker punched the already bruised relationship I have with my gender.   Like a jagged shred of rusty sheet metal twisting in the wind on a … Read more

Thanks a lot Jerry’s Home Improvement Center!  I really needed that!  I was calling for product information not for entertainment, but upon being placed on hold, I was forced to listen to Van Morrison singing Brown Eyed Girl.  I was forced to listen to this through the telephone – an audio technology developed in the … Read more

As a progressive liberal guy, I’m dismayed by the recent shooting in Orlando.  But I also believe that the clowns running the world are going to crash the economy and drive “civilization” into a ditch at which point we may need to defend ourselves against criminal gangs and protect and what’s left of our “democracy”.  … Read more