Two Eco Rants

I was eating a piece of fruit the other day.  There was a little sticker on it.  The sticker was made out of clear cut trees made into chlorine bleached paper printed with petrochemical inks and stuck on the fruit with a petrochemical adhesive.  The sticker was there to say, “This piece of fruit is organic…..”

And I’m like, hey wait a minute, why should it be incumbent upon the producers of organic food to label their food as organic?  It should be required that commercially grown food has labels saying, “Warning: This product contains toxic, creepy, weird-assed shit.  Eat at your own risk.”

It’s like saying that all guys who are not rapists or pedophiles should be required to wear a little badge saying, “Not a Rapist or Pedophile”.  Women would tell their girlfriends, “Oh Honey, don’t even talk to him.  He’s not wearing the badge!”   Or any woman who’s not a crazy psycho-bitch from hell should be required to wear a badge saying, “Not a crazy psycho-bitch from hell.”  So then guys would say, “Well, I’d fuck the bitch, but I’m sure as shit not gonna try to have a deep & meaningful with her!”

Another things that pisses me off is when I’m in a store and the clerk says, “This product is $29.95.”  And I say, “You mean $30.”  And he says, “Well, $29.95.”  And I’m like, “Don’t insult my intelligence.  You know damn good and well that for all intents & purposes, this product is $30, but in insisting that it’s $29.95, you are playing that silly psychological merchandizing game where some moron will buy it if it’s twenty nine something but not buy it if it’s thirty even if the difference is a mere five cents.  Like how stupid do you think I am???

Another thing that really pisses me off is the expectation that bicyclists are suppose to come to a full stop at stop signs.  I actually got a ticket one night for rolling through a stop sign on my bike at a quiet intersection with no cars around.  There was a cop lurking off in the shadows and, clearly having a bad day, he just had to give me a ticket.  I broke the law and since it’s his job to enforce the law, he simply had no choice in the matter.  Shit, talk about a victimless crime.  Rolling your bike thorough a stop sign makes smoking funny herbs or paying someone to help you have an orgasm look like grand theft auto.

Let’s be clear:  Even though a very high percentage of conservative talk radio buffoons disagree, the fact remains that 97 percent of climate scientists do agree that human caused Climate Change is real and an utter catastrophe in the making.  Young children alive today are going to attempt to grow old in a world where hundreds of millions of people are watching not just their homes, but also their farm land get inundated by rising sea levels.  When you consider Climate Change, a person on a bike, all other things being equal, completely owns the moral, ethical high ground over someone behind the wheel of a car.  I OWN IT!  IT’S MINE!  Shit, the cop couldn’t even turn his engine off while writing me the ticket.  So, here he is, his engine is idling and he’s viciously shafting future generations through Climate Change, oh, but I get the ticket because I was a menace to society by rolling my bike through a stop sign with no cars anywhere nearby.

You put me in charge of the world and some shit’s really gonna get changed!