Sucking and sucking and sucking, the vampire squid of investment banking has its tentacles wrapped around the face of humanity, its scaly, slimy wealth extraction proboscis crammed forcefully down the throats of 95 percent of the Earth’s population – guaranteeing that every remotely available bit of wealth is siphoned up into the investment portfolios of … Read more
Day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, decade by fucking decade I have done and I shall continue to do my twice daily meditation practice. The never-ending, disjointed river of the stupidest, pissy-assed thoughts crash upon the metamorphic rock of the field of infinite silence lying at the root of … Read more
I explain in my monologue entitled The Three Caveman Archetypes of Male Sexuality that millions of years of natural selection have burdened men with a single minded determination to insert their genetic material (in other words, their penises) into as many women as possible. Interestingly, population geneticists have recently identified the man who appears to … Read more
I was eating a piece of fruit the other day. There was a little sticker on it. The sticker was made out of clear cut trees made into chlorine bleached paper printed with petrochemical inks and stuck on the fruit with a petrochemical adhesive. The sticker was there to say, “This piece of fruit is … Read more
Hearing of your rape was the low point of much of my year 2016 – though it was ultimately eclipsed by a President Trump in November, but it resoundingly sucker punched the already bruised relationship I have with my gender. Like a jagged shred of rusty sheet metal twisting in the wind on a … Read more
Thanks a lot Jerry’s Home Improvement Center! I really needed that! I was calling for product information not for entertainment, but upon being placed on hold, I was forced to listen to Van Morrison singing Brown Eyed Girl. I was forced to listen to this through the telephone – an audio technology developed in the … Read more
As a progressive liberal guy, I’m dismayed by the recent shooting in Orlando. But I also believe that the clowns running the world are going to crash the economy and drive “civilization” into a ditch at which point we may need to defend ourselves against criminal gangs and protect and what’s left of our “democracy”. … Read more